Someone told me something in confidence,  but i feel that i need to tell someone because what happened is not right...

What should i do?

right now im sitting at work and its my lunch break....i dont really know what is wrong with me, but when i find myself alone, i feel sad. i realize that my life is better than most because i have a good paying job....or should i say career? i have a place to live, even though it is with my parents, but i help them financially. i have a car that i have always wanted. its just that i have no one to share my life with. i look around wherever i am and i see couples...and it makes me sad. ive tried to find someone for myself, but its harder than i thought. wither they just want to be "friends" or they are not at all interested in me. why is that? i just want to be with someone like myself...easy going...simple, but likes to have fun...

is there someone out there for me or what? if there is...where are you? :(

i feel like i am stuck in a rut. i help my family financially, but that prevents me from saving money and buying a house and moving on with my life. how can i tell my family that i need some time to save money so i can move out and really start living my life? the sad thing is that I feel responsible for my family...if i leave or stop helping them financially, i feel guilty. what should i do?

if anyone reads this...some advice from people i dont know would help. it would give me a perspective from another point of view.

started working a lot of days in a row...like 4 days on, one off, and back for 6 days! i mean nights...trying to save money for vegas and hopefully have enough leftover for the cruise in may! puerto vallarta, cabo san lucas, and mazatlan! should be fun if i go!

i think im gonna be working a lot of days this year just so i can try to keep myself busy and not spend so much money!

i know that im always sad when i post something....but im gonna try not to do that as much anymore...

since my last post, i have tried to keep myself busy...i have just become friends with a new buddy i just met....PS3! i started playing uncharted: drakes fortune. i played this game before but never really gave it much of a chance, but now that im playing it again...im liking it....a lot! :) the only thing is that it keeps freezing, so i think ill start playing the 2nd one!

this is my first time of having 9 days off work and i havent really done anything.....this sucks :( i think i took all these days off cause i wont be able to concentrate at work cause of the coming weekend.

well, its almost that time of the year again.....TARZANA BARBEQUE!!!! woohoo! i cant wait!

but....i seem to be more excited for the following weekend......VEGAS BABY! going with the other slaves from work!

nothing has really been going on. just working and trying to save money.....which really isnt going anywhere. :(

your no match for THE FAMILY

Picture 096
Originally uploaded by jgnavarrete

you cant mess with us. you mess with one, you mess with all. and this isnt even all the cousins...there are some missing!!

ok.....so its been a while since i posted anything on this blogger thingy.....

but im too sleepy right now.....ill do it in the morning......

:)

so, i just bought a laptop a few days ago and im still trying to get the hang of being able to use a computer almost anywhere i can go. its a good laptop considering the price, but i still dont like vista!

i bought world of warcraft a few weeks ago and i cant stop playing! this game is addicting, which is one of the reasons i bought this laptop....it has a dedicated graphics card. i think that this was a good purchase because i can now have my computer anywhere i go!

im getting more and more comfortable at work as the weeks go by, but those 2 extra days i work every pay period are killing me. but the money is so worth it! im getting used to working in a hospital finally, but its still sometimes scary, but fun and interesting.

i start at Providence Holy Cross Medical Center in two weeks! WOOHOO! finally i can get off my lazy fat-ass and start going to work and doing nothing....hey! might as well get paid for it right? :)

you are now looking at one of CALIFORNIAS newest CERTIFIED RESPIRATORY THERAPISTS! woohoo! i passed my damn state board exam! time to party! i have been absent for a long time!

I FINISHED RESPIRATORY SCHOOL ON THURSDAY DECEMBER 14 2006! WOOHOO! NO MORE CASE STUDIES, GRAN ROUNDS, OR PAPERS! YAY FOR ME! NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PASS THE STATE BOARD EXAM.........

wow! i only have one more month of respiratory school! i cant believe it! i have learned so much, but i still dont know anything.......but a lot of therapists have told me that this feeling is ok......it takes a lot of experience to actually feel confident in what you are doing! hmmm......

just came back from a fun-filled vegas trip. although i didnt gamble, we still had a fun time....we being the siblings and i......we stayed at the venetian hotel and casino in a suite! that was a nice room! we played some video games and ate at various places such as green valley, where they have one of the best buffets i have been to!

we played some arcade at new york new york, but i realized that arcades are getting expensive! when we got back to la, we decided to watch x3 and let me tell you something, that movie was over-hyped for me, so i thought that the movie itself was ok....not as great as a lot of people thought. there were so many plot holes in the movie that i could drive my car through, it wasnt even funny!

all in all, it have to say that this was one of the best weekends ive had in a long time! good times! :D

well...vacation is finally over! woohoo! i guess its a good thing and a bad thing. good thing cause i can finally go to class after being kind of bored for almost a week and a half. bad thing cause i can no longer go out as much as i want....which isnt as many times people usually want to. but still, i had some good times. :D i finally got to go to disneyland after like 7 years of not going! finally got to ride that buzz lightyear ride thingy that my cousins told me about...and i suck at it :P

im really looking forward to the next 3 months of school because i can finally start going to clincals! first rotation is going to be at kaiser here in good old panorama city! woohoo! i cant believe that im going to be working in hospital after thinking that ill be an office person for the rest of my life....makes me wonder about all the things that can happen in a hospital....and all the things that can happen only in an office work setting.

another good thing is that summer is going to start soon and you know what that means!.....tarzana bbqs soon! cant wait for weather to heat up and little and go swimming, eat some fresh steaks, and make some new friends and see old ones! i miss those bbqs.....

well....heres to the next 3 months of my life! CHEERS!

woohoo! i passed my rt 1101 finals....written and orals! yeah! the orals were the worst though cause we were asked EVERYTHING from our notes....and i mean everything! it wasnt that difficult, but it was so nerve racking! it was like.... i dont even know how to describw the stress and tension that it gave the entire class! imagine the most intimidating test and multiply it by 100 and take away all the mutiple choice and clues from fill in the blanks, and you still wouldnt be able to describe it! man that was bad!

the good thing was the written! man....when i was handed the test, i was like WOW! this thing is going to be a breeze compared to the orals! one example is "what is the range for pao2?".....then all the answers were given in multiple choice! my eyes lit up like a 5 yr old during christmas cause i knew it would be so easy! another one was "what is kussmal breathing?"

the written portion made up for the 8 hr oral final that we had that lasted 2.....let me say it again....2 days! now i have 2 weeks of vacation and now i dont know what to do in those 2 weeks......im almost done with the first week and im already so bored! what to do??????

i was thinking today about my future. ok, so i finish rt school and begin to work....then what? have a job and work for the rest of my life, taking a few weeks out of the year for vacations? that just seems pretty boring! all im gonna do for the next 40 or 45 years is working! aaarrrrgggghhh!!!

ohh well.....at least ill be doing something that i enjoy and something that will keep my mind fresh! woohoo!

unfortunately, i dont post a lot of pictures on my blog, but i dont care cause no one reads my blogger! hmmmmm...

what are we all trying to accomplish in life? financial sucess? that can only bring you so much happiness......you should try to attain something more that brings you actual happiness.....i think for me, its.......hmmm.....financial freedom! but its not the reason that everyone thinks its for. i want to attain it so that i can live a carefree life, one where i dont worry about rent, debt, payments, blah blah blah........all i want when i have a family is to have a car, a house with a lot of open space, and peace and quiet so i can just rest and relax for periods of time. anything other than that is something that i dont really need, but something ill do if i have too.

you know how everyone has that dream car that they always wanna get? lamborghini, ferrari, porsche, mercedes benz slr....blah blah blah....whatever......

but i want a car that most people dont even think about.....its not about the horsepower, but the potential of the car.....the balance......and this is it....the subaru wrx spec c.....

i havent seen it here in the states yet, but this car can eat an sti any day of the week, i think.....

has anyone else heard of, or seen this car? i know that you can import this car from japan, but i dont know how much it will cost, or if it can even pass emissions, but if i was given the opportunity to own this car, i wouldnt even have to think about it.....

this is my lamborghini, ferrari, porsche, mercedes benz slr dream car! ohh well.......

i was just thinking today about where i would like to live....and i think it would be a place like this....i think this would be my dream place to retire or to live when i get much older! cheers!

saturday night was fun! havent had a good time like that since i guess august. we ate at some korean bbq place where you actually cook your own food. that was delicious! then i was introduced to a new drink.....soju. this drink is special because its very smooth and....dry i guess....and it tastes like water! but that is where it kills you! this drink is a creeper! i had i think 3 or 4 shots and i was buzzed at first, then full on drunk for a while! man that was good!

after i sobered up a bit, we went to santa monica.....on main st. we went to a bar, which i forgot the name already, where they spent the rest of the night till 2 drinkin till they were really drunk. unfortunately, i was one of the designated drivers, so i couldnt drink to my hearts content, but i had a good time none the less. it was me, paul, jj, ina, sasha, gp, and another guy.....who i forgot his name already! there were cool as sh!t. they were just drinkin, messin around, and shooting the sh!t all night! luckily, i had a plastic bag in my car cause ina yakked in the car ride to ihop.....where i got lost in marina del rey and lax for a long time! i went from colorado and lincoln to past lax and back at least twice while paul and ina were both passed out in my car! i think that that will be one of the last times im gonna be a designated driver! that was sucky :( but it was both good times and bad.....not really bad, more less carefree....times!

hope i have more weekends like that again! woo hoo! :D

i have a question to ask, should i make this blogg available to the public? meaning, should i tell people that i have this blogger? or should i keep this private? uhhhhhhh......

its the simple pleasures of life that i enjoy the most. for example, tonight, justin and i went to jack in the box after a huka session, and we saw 2 beautiful girls in some raggedy old honda.....but as you know, i chickened out asking them if they wanna join us.....ohh well.......

I LOVE............i dont know....

nothing else to write. i think this weekend will be interesting if all go according to plans. well wait and see what happens tomorrow.....shooting range? who knows? drinking session? only time will tell.

all i can say is that having your heart broken sucks ;( all you can do is remember the times you spent with the person and thats it! whenever your alone, you feel lonely, and whenever your with friends, you still feel lonely because you have no one to show your affection to, no one to share your joys and sadness with.

all i can do is reminice, but thats not good. people tell me i have to look towards the future, but i cant. all i can do is think about those times.....and all it does is make you want to have someone but i know that i will never have someone like that again. whoever i meet in the future, if i even meet someone, can never compare to that special person i had, even if it was for only a short time. every time i looked into her eyes, all i saw was sincerety and compassion. but it was my own fault that i drove her away. but the real question is, how to move on. the last time this happened to me, it took me a very long time to move on, and i dont want to feel that again.

i try to surround myself with friends, but that can only go so far. sometimes, even friends cant replace that feeling that i had. ehh......life sucks, but i know that i have to move on, but i cant. i think that i need someone, someone special in my life......who will replace that person that i had for a brief moment in time? the next person that i meet can never compare, but i have to look for something that might not exist with the next person, but i have to look for something. i cant just live my life feeling depressed......i have so many things to be thankful for.

the next person that i look for has to have something special....something special when i look in their eyes. i just dont know what it will be, but i have to look hard. this person has to make me feel something special everytime i see her or else it wont be the right person. but all i see in the place that i live right now are superficial people.....people who look pretty, but have little, or no intelligence. the next person should be someone that i feel comfortable talking to...someone who i can carry an intelligent conversation with, and that sparkle in their eyes that just makes me melt away.

but the thing that makes it hard is that i judge before i even speak to the person. i have to take that away, but its something that i do all the time. i just dont want to feel that lonliness i feel long time ago. those two years were the worst in my life. it took two years! and i still sometimes think of that first......someone who i feel for the instant that i met her. although people knew my feelings for her, i had hoped that no one did.

i guess the main thing is that i shouldnt feel so depressed all the time, but i just cant help it. i hope that that special person for me is out there, but i just havent found her. all i can do now is hope, dream, and try not to feel so down all the time.

not only do i look at the eyes, which is why i think i have a thing for girls with glasses, but another thing that makes me feel funny all over is the smile. their eyes and smile must be sincere when i look into them. aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!! i feel so lonely. ohh well, im sure someone out there is the right person for me, but i just havent found her. only tomorrow will show her to me...............

well, i did pretty ok on that test....100%! woohoo! that made my week! also, we went to dinner and i finally got to meet marks wife, alma. shes very nice and mark is lucky to have found a wife as beautiful and sincere as she is. but as always, i should tell her, break his heart and ill break her legs. but i just hope that she doenst because i kind of know the pain that he will feel......no, i dont hope....i know she wont. she better not.

anyways.....paul, ate lovette, and phil are on their way to san fransisco and i wish that i could go....oh well.....you win some, you lose some.

man! i wish that i could finish rt school already cause i cant wait to start working and making some money, and actually making a difference in the world. just think, while working in a field that pays well, i could actually make people feel better and maybe even get a thank you or two in the process! thats all i actually want....i thank you and a smile from at least one patient, and that will all make it worth while. actually, thats all i want in life, a thank you with a smile in a sincere way. i hope to get some of those sooner or later!

i have a test on pumonary anatomy and physiology tomorrow...and i dont feel ready at all. one piece of good news is that ms boyd doesnt even know if shell give us the test tomorrow! but, the one thing that is always on my mind is the weekly visit by mr hill for our oral quizz! i know that i wont be able to get a good nights sleep tonight because of this ORAL crap! aarrggghhhhh!!!!!

but you know what?

i really dont like valentines day :( ugh.........

as time goes by, things really do change even though you dont want them to! yesterdaym i found out that marks wife, alma, is FINALLY coming here to the states! after months and months of waiting! i guess the fact that mark is married hasnt really hit me yet......but hearing the news that the wifey is coming suddenly put things into persepective for me. man, mark is married....and i dont even have a gf yet! :( i guess thats a good thing, and a bad thing at the same time.

ohh yeah, i really need to find a way to get in touch with friends that i have lost contact with. i know that myspace is a huge thing right now, but what about those people that dont frequent online much? hmmm.....i have met so many interesting, and cool people, but time can just put a hamper on friendships and what-not can be a total drag! man, i guess im just wondering what those people are doing now? i heard that someone i knew went back to school because her degree didnt really help her to get work that paid well. she was really cool, and the few people that met her were always asking me what happened to her.....and the sad thing is that even i dont know. but you know what? thats ok.....because im sure that ill run into her sometime in the future.....maybe.....hopefully.

ehhh......life can be pretty depressing sometimes :(

but it can also bring you so much joy as well!

ohhhh man! another 2 years have gone by and not one post since then! well.....lets see.....ohh yeah! san fransisco rules! but its not the place, but the people that are there! i could care less what we do there, its just that the people i meet there are so different from the usual drones that los angeles produces!

paul and i, with jj and ina, went to sf at the end of april and i had a total blast! lets see, we shopped...but i just hung out with paul and kat, which was actually kind of fun, but a little weird since im the 3rd wheel. after that, we went to their house and drank with pat, jj, ina, and their friend monica. then kat and pats titas and titos came and drank after us! ive never seen adults have so much fun! next day, we went to a nature preserve and looked at nature and took pictures of stuff. had lunch and then went back to la. that was one of the best weekends ive had in a long time! cant wait till the next trip to sf! yay! :D

dang! i just checked my blogger and it has been like almost a year since i last posted....wow! this just shows that no one really reads this stuff...anyways, i have to start doing my movie site again but there are really no must see movies that have come out lately....

today was a pretty uneventful day, but i did notice a few things while doing nothing...while i was driving, i saw a guy scratch his balls at a bus stop...what goes through the mind of someone who does that? i mean not only is that disgusting, it is also...disgusting...at least try to do it in private or something, not in the middle of traffic where all of the drivers on the street can see...do they even realize that people can see them?

this next topic is something my mother and i always argue about...i always say that when someone turns 65 they should have their license taken away or revoked by the DMV...why you ask yourselves? old people should not drive because 1 - their reflexes are really slow...2nd - they are old...and c - they are old....hahahaaa....but seriously....their reflexes arent as fast as when they were younger and they think that people will give them the right of way just because they are older than them....i have almost been in many car accidents because of senior citizens who drive...and just today i saw an old lady on the street driving who didnt look in her blind side and almost caused an accident...she even had the nerve to yell at the driver whom she almost hit...what are your thoughts? senior citizens should not drive because they are a danger to themselves and even more to other people....

another question to ponder...why is it that when you want to get many things accomplished, you are only able to do 2 or 3 things, while people who dont really care what they finish, finish more tasks in a few hours which would have taken you the whole day??? that just sucks ASS.....:(

why is it that people always try to make themselves look more important than they are? do they get some sick pleasure from feeling important? for example, at my work, there was a lady who was on the phone who sounded like she was talking to someone very important...could it be her lawyer? a movie star? a big time producer? who cares?!??!?!?!! how about you pay more attention to what you are doing than how others see you....and dont even get me started on cell phones and driving.....aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhh!

well, this is my first blog post. i started this because i just recently fixed my internet at home and wanted to have something to do besides nothing...

by the way, why is it that people are even more pissed off lately than before? am i the only one that has noticed?